The internet is abuzz this week with the story of media critic Michael Wolff’s divorce. The Daily Mail reports that Wolff decided to file papers without telling his wife, Alison Anthoine, who he left several years ago.
When asked about the filing, Anthoine dismissed it, saying that the couple had decided to work the separation out on their own before going to court. After seeing proof of the divorce papers, she said that he’d not told her about his intention to file.
The story raises the question, how do you go about telling your spouse that you want a divorce?
It’s certainly not an easy conversation to have, but choosing not to tell your spouse before filing papers is the surest way to start a battle that is both financially and emotionally draining.
If you are planning a divorce, a good first step is to contact a family lawyer to get your bearings. At Elliot Green Law Offices, we understand that you will have questions about the process before filing papers, which is why we offer free initial consultations to prospective clients.
To schedule a time to meet with a Queens family lawyer, call us at 718-260-8668.
1. Learn More About Divorce
Educating yourself about the divorce process will help you later on, so take some time to learn more about divorce law and what you can expect as the process unfurls. As mentioned above, the easiest way to do this is to meet with a family lawyer.
This is also a good time to take stock of your finances, and develop a plan to become financially independent, which will include switching insurance providers and starting an individual bank account.
2. Take Time to Compose Your Thoughts
Working through your own feelings ahead of time will make for an easier conversation when you tell your spouse, so spend a few days or weeks putting your feelings down on paper in a way that is direct but not cruel.
Also, it pays to plan who you’ll open the conversation and when, so you are a bit more prepared.
3. Tell Your Spouse
When the time comes, your number one goal should be to keep yourself calm. Your spouse may feel accosted and may lash out, but everything will go better if you choose not to retaliate. Just remind yourself that the time for fighting is over, because the marriage is over.
Be as direct and unwavering as possible, but be read to give your spouse some time to work through the news alone.
4. Check Back Later
Some people respond to shocking news by pretending nothing has changed. If your spouse is one of these people, you may need to broach the subject a few more times before filing papers. Keeping your feelings in check while discussing the divorce decreases the risk of your spouse writing it off as just another fight.
When it’s time to take the next steps, call us. At Elliot Green Law Offices, we have extensive experience helping Queens residents through their divorce. We can help with every aspect of your split, including custody, alimony and high net-worth issues.
To arrange a time to talk about your divorce with a family lawyer in Queens, call us at 718-260-8668.
