Research has shown that staying together “for the kids” isn’t always a good idea. Spouses who argue a lot often create a hostile living environment, which is typically worse for their children emotionally than if they were to separate. That doesn’t mean going through a divorce is easy, though.
If you need a divorce lawyer in Queens, we can help. At Elliot Green Law Offices, we have extensive experience representing clients who are getting divorced. Call our office today at 718-260-8668 to arrange a free initial consultation, and read on for four tips for helping your children cope during the process.
1. Do Not Use Your Children as Messengers
It may seem like common sense, but many divorcing parents find themselves falling into this trap at some point during the process; however, WebMD reminds readers not to use their children as messengers when it comes to communicating with their spouse. This can cause unnecessary emotional stress and even trauma for children, and it’s not setting a very good example.
2. Be Honest With Them
Granted, they don’t need to hear a long-winded explanation detailing everything your spouse did wrong throughout the entire marriage, children still deserve to know the truth. HELPGUIDE encourages parents to pick a simple, honest reason they can share with their children as to why they’re getting divorced. It’s also important to remind them that just because mom and dad are splitting up doesn’t mean they won’t still be a family.
3. Encourage Them to Voice Their Feelings
Temper tantrums are never good, but that doesn’t mean children should bottle up all their emotions, either. KidsHealth reminds divorcing parents that children need a safe, calm place where they can express their feelings, both positive and negative, about the changes that are occurring. If you think you’ll get too emotional during the conversation, it’s okay to ask a close friend or relative to talk to your children about the divorce.
4. Break the News Once It’s Definite
Children are incredibly intuitive, and if something has been going on at home, chances are, they can already sense it. Though it’s going to be tough, parents should break the news to their children as soon as it’s certain. Holding off telling them—no matter the reason—is only going to make it even harder once you finally do come clean.
If possible, tell them together, and avoid assigning guilt or blame to either spouse. Tailor the message to your children’s ages and maturity levels, but be sure to remain objective and honest during the discussion.
Divorce is never easy, but there are steps parents can take to make the entire situation less stressful for their children. By approaching the subject in a calm, caring manner, children will recognize that it’s not the end of the world and that they they’ll still have a loving family after the dust settles.
If you need a family attorney in Queens, Elliot Green can help. Call our office today at 718-260-8668, and let us know what we can do for you.